                                ==Diet Phrack==

                 Volume Three, Issue Thirty-Six, File 10 of 11

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               |              *Elite* World News               |
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               |            Issue 36 / Part 1 of 2             |
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               |   Compiled, Edited, and Mangled by Dr. Dude   |
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A GOOD HAM IS A DEAD HAM
Special Thanks:  Twisted Pair

     Just as geeks with computers annoy hackers and phreaks, geeks with "ham"
sets annoy those of us that diddle with electronics.  To prove my point just go
to ANY "Ham-Fest."  See the guy walking around with the headset walkie-talkie
that looks like he shaved about 4 days ago, grossly overweight, dressed in the
ugliest clothing, and is just simply nerdier than hell?  Being involved with
electronics we are constantly irritated by these losers.  We urge everyone out
there to DESTROY ANYONE THAT CLAIMS TO BE A HAM!!!!!

     Anyway, what follows is a true story:

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     Our story is basically about a guy named Jim.  Jim liked to watch a
particular TV show when he got home from work everyday like a lot of people do.
Lately, Jim's TV reception on all channels was being ripped up by an unknown
interference signal.  Being disgusted with the TV picture, ol' Jim said, "Fuck
it."  He decided to listen to the radio for awhile, but, GOD DAMNIT there was
interference there, too.  By this time Jim is really very upset.  The
interference would come in spurts, loudly interrupting whatever show was on at
the time with a loud, distorted, unintelligible voice.

     Jim began to wise up quickly after being subjected to watching snowy
pictures, flipping pictures, and listening to someone's raspy, annoying
distortion on his TV.  He figured out that his neighbor down the street (we'll
just call him Ham) had a big antenna sticking up beside his house.  Jim noticed
that the interference was always present when Ham's 4x4 truck, with KC lights,
and tractor tires was at home.  Jim went over to talk to Ham.  Ham said his
"antenner" was his "binnus."   What ever Ham wanted to do with it was his
"damned binuss."  After the door was slammed in Jim's face, Jim decided to do
some research.

     Jim spoke to some of his other neighbors about the problem.  What a
surprise.  Turns out they ALL had the interference.  The interference area was
at least 4 blocks in every direction.  The neighbors decided that they would
go have a chat.  So, 6 people from all parts of the neighborhood went go see
Ham for a friendly visit.  Ham reluctantly opened the door and immediately
started cussing about it being his "antenner," his "Ham gear," his
"ampluhfieers," and he would operate them as he damned well pleased!  He also
DARED anyone to stop him from broadcasting in the neighborhood.

     Jim, now beyond pissed off, contacted the FCC regional office in Chicago.
They helped him fill out a formal complaint.  The FCC, usually slow to act on
such complaints, gave Jim a lucky break.  The FCC just happened to have a
senior inspection official who would be in Jim's area the next week. Jim
couldn't wait!  On the fateful day of the FCC's visit, they came armed to the
teeth with all kinds of state-of-the-art-neato things.  The FCC guys showed up
in a white van with windows tinted black.  There were no markings on this van,
except for multiple antennas of all types sitting on top of the van (how very
unobtrusive and sneaky are they).  The inspectors first met with Jim to look at
his bad reception to confirm that Ham was transmitting.  Then they took Jim out
to the van to show him how they check out such complaints.  The van was LOADED.
The FCC guys had spectrum analyzers, custom-made multi-frequency receivers that
covered all bands, they had signal strength meters, they had equipment
controlled by a PC.  They also had a PC linked via radio to somewhere.  On it
they could look up information on ANY ham license, broadcast license, suspected
pirate station, or check personal records of known offenders.

     The FCC's equipment confirmed that Ham was broadcasting shortwave with WAY
too much power.  Their power meter was pegged on its highest scale, damaging
it (oops!).  Well, the FCC inspector was pretty hot about that.  In fact, he
was really pissed.  He drove the van up to Ham's house, slamming on the brakes
with screech.  Ham bolted to the door.  The FCC guys showed their ID and asked
Ham to come on outside and look at the stored readings they had made earlier on
Ham's signal.  Ham refused at first, but finally came outside.

     Ham swore a few too many times and pissed off the FCC inspectors even
more.  Ham told them he didn't believe their readings, and would just do as he
pleased.  He went back into the house and locked the door.  Jim wasn't happy
either.  After using their cellular phone to call for police backup, the senior
FCC inspector told his partner to cover the back door.

     The police arrived with lights on and sirens blaring.  The FCC guy
INSISTED that HE get to kick Ham's door in.  The police obliged.  After a short
struggle with Ham, he was tossed onto the front yard and cuffed.  The
inspectors confiscated a whole room full of Ham gear, 3 transmitters, Ham logs,
big homemade linear amplifiers, etc.  Not wanting to climb Ham's tower to get
at his antenna, the FCC just CUT OFF Ham's antenna cable about 15 feet up.
How cute!  The WHOLE cable would have to be replaced if Ham was ever to
broadcast again.

     Ham's gear was permanently confiscated, his license revoked for life, and
certainly appeared as though he was embarrassed by the scene in his yard.  The
end?  Not!

     Just one month later Jim started noticing interference patterns on his TV
set and radio again.  Daily the problem grew worse.  This time he could hear
tones mixed in with the crackly, distorted voice.  After a week of this
was back at it again.  Jim checked it out.  He saw that Ham's truck was,
indeed, in the driveway every time the distortion was present.  Ham WAS back
at it again.  Jim assured everyone who called that he WOULD take care of the
problem once and for all.  After watching the evening news program break apart
several times (always during the most important parts), Jim got good and mad.
It was getting dark, so Jim decided to do a little tower climbing!

     Jim wore black clothing so he wouldn't be seen by Ham.  While getting
ready to scale Ham's tower, Jim noticed that Ham had installed brand-new
antenna cable.  A light was on in the basement window which was directly in
front of the base of the tower.  Jim peered into the window.  He noticed that
each time Ham talked into his microphone, a red light came on that could be
faintly seen from outside.  Jim jumped onto the base of the tower, being
careful that Ham couldn't see his feet out his basement window.  On the way up
the tower, Jim looked down to watch the red light which went on whenever Ham
was transmitting.

     Jim came prepared for the job.  He had two things in his pocket;  a long,
sharp hatpin and a roll of black electrical tape.  After climbing about 15 feet
up the tower, Jim once again looked down to see if Ham's red light was on.  It
was off.  Jim worked fast.  He took out the hat pin and inserted it crossways
straight THROUGH Ham's new antenna cable.  The hatpin would short out the
cable's grounded shield with the live center conductor in the cable.  He made
sure it was pushed in all the way.  Jim quickly grabbed the electrical tape and
carefully wrapped it around the cable to cover up the pin, making it
unnoticeable.  Then he climbed down a little ways and decided to jump the rest
of the way down.

     Just as he landed on the ground the sparks FLEW!  He saw a BRIGHT red
flash of light as Ham keyed on his transmitter.  There were a couple of loud
pops as loud as gunfire.  Lying on the ground, Jim saw the smoke and flames
rolling out of Ham's transmitter and amplifier.  Ham was JOLTED out of his
chair with ice cubes flying out of the drink he was holding.  Ham's circuit
breaker must have tripped, too because his entire HOUSE went dark after
about 5 seconds.

     Ham never was able to find the problem with his antenna system.  He must
have given up because the interference stopped!
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DEMON COMPUTER KILLS TWO WORKERS!                            November 12, 1991
by Sally O'Day (Weekly World News)

      "Exorcist Called In After Experts Discover Virus-bred Evil Spirit!"

     Bank officials have summoned an exorcist to rid a computer terminal of a
hideous horned demon that <has> already killed two employees and put another in
a coma!

     And if Father Hector Diaz fails in his mission to banish the spirit,
authorities say they will have to shut down the bank because the computer can't
be turned off, moved, or unplugged.  And as long as it remains in place, every
customer and employee is in danger.

     "This sounds like something out of a sci-fi movie, but the threat is both
serious and real," Police Detective Raul Lopez told reporters.  "I don't know
why and I don't know how.  But an evil force or spirit is living in that
machine and the death of two innocent people proves it."

     Maria Catalan was found sitting at her terminal with her head in her lap."
Carmen de la Fuente had a fatal heart attack within two minutes of sitting
down to work.

     Computer experts tired to examine the terminal, but they had no success
whatsoever.  One of them started babbling like a madman when he got within 10
feet of the machine and a dozen more were flung to the floor like rag dolls by
some unseen force.

     "We can't turn the machine off because everyone who tries blacks out and
falls to the floor.  I know I must sound like a lunatic, but that computer
truly has a mind -- and a life -- of its own."

     The mind-numbing drama began when the bank in Valapariso, Chile, installed
a new computer system last spring.  Within days the system turned deadly.

     When a bank custodian told of seeing a hideous horned demon appear on the
computer screen, bank officials asked Father Diaz to perform an exorcism.
The priest has been unavailable for comment while he prepares the rite of
exorcism.

     But a spokesman for the firm that installed the computer system says that
a computer virus almost certainly created the conditions which caused the
terminal to kill.
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THE TRUE SIGNIFICANCE OF ZODIAC SIGNS
by Dr. Dude

AQUARIUS (JAN 21-FEB 19)  You have an inventive mind and are great at
engineering people.  You frequently abuse c0dez and spend a great deal of time
hacking voice mail box systems.  (Night Ranger)

PISCES (FEB 21-MAR 20) You have a very vivid imagination and often think you
are being followed by the FBI and the CIA.  You also feel as though you need to
join as many "groups" as possible.  Pisces write a lot of "How Break Into/Steal
Fortresses" files.  (Lex Luthor)

ARIES (MAR 21-APR 21) You are a pioneer and an innovator.  You hold most people
in contempt.  You are quick tempered, impatient, and scornful of everyone.  No
one can ever hope to be as El1te as you are.  Most Aries aren't actually
hackers, because they spend too much time pestering other hackers and trying to
destroy the computer underground than actually hacking into systems.  All aries
will grow up to work for the Secret Service.  All Aries try to join MOD.
(Dictator, Dan the Operator, Corrupt)

TAURUS (APR 21-MAY 21) You are practical and persistent.  You hack like hell
and never get credit for anything.  Most people think you are racist.  You like
to write files about "Running Over Things With a 4x4" and "Making Drugs."  You
are goddamn redneck hacker.  (Taran King)

GEMINI (MAY 22-JUNE 21) You are a quick and intelligent thinker.  People like
you because you are bisexual.  However, you are inclined to expect too much for
too little.  This is why all Geminis are leeches.  Geminis belong to at least
10 boards at a time and are on the endless quest for El1teness.

CANCER (JUNE 22-JULY 23) You are very compassionate and overly trusting and
never do any dark side hacking.  This makes you the perfect fool.  Cancers
write virii in LOGO and Blue Box from their home phones.  Cancers think that
Tim Foley is a misunderstood man.

LEO (JULY 24-AUG 23) You consider yourself a born leader, while others consider
you loud and pushy.  This is why all Leos are power hungry and therefore a lot
of Leos are sysops.  Most Leos talk big and then do nothing. Leos are also into
starting "groups."  (Ninja Master)

VIRGO (AUG 24-SEPT 23) You are the logical type and hate disorder.  That's why
you spend more time collecting text files and news related to hacking than
actually doing any hacking or phreaking.  (Crimson Death, Knight Lightning)

LIBRA (SEPT 24-OCT 23) You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with
reality.  You brag about your library of porno GIF's and have close ties with
Amiga pirate groups.  You also tend to be fairly talkative, thus making you a
great informant for the Secret Service.  (Dispater, Erik Bloodaxe, Tuc)

SCORPIO (OCT 24-NOV 22) You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted.  You
will achieve the pinnacle of success due to your complete lack of morals and
ethics.  All Scorpios are into crashing BBS.  You are a perfect son of a bitch.
(The Disk Jockey)

SAGITTARIUS (NOV 23-DEC 21) You are overly optimistic and enthusiastic. You
have a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you lack any real talent.  A
typical Sagittarian move is to drag home 10 bags of trash from the local telco
to discover the only thing they got out of the ordeal was a car that smells
like coffee for the next 3 weeks.  (Aristotle, Predat0r)

CAPRICORN (DEC 22-JAN 20) You are overly conservative and afraid of taking
risks.  You would be afraid of redboxing from a downtown Los Angeles at
lunchtime.  You think that copying pirated software will lead the FBI to you
front doorstep the next day.  You are a puss.  (Juan Valdez)
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GOD, RUSTY, & INWARD OPERATORS

     Once again, Pat Townson admonishes a reader of comp.dcom.telecom for
having a little phun at work.

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From: 0004133373@mcimail.com Donald E. Kimberlin (comp.domp.telecom)

..in a footnote <Digest vol10, iss637), our Moderator suggests,

> "... some children, phreaks and assorted other folks consider it quite a
> funny joke to conference two unrelated parties via three-way calling, then
>let them (the two called parties) squabble with each other while the
>perpetrator goes spastic with laughter at his little prank.   PAT]"

Well, it brings to mind three incidents that I guess can now be told:

1.) The good old "testboard," of course, had the ability to "conference in"
several parties, while the person on the testboard could cut off their own talk
path, leaving the two parties talking to each other. In an earlier, simpler DDD
network, simply dialing an area code plus 121 got the "Inward Operator." a.k.a
"Assistance" to the public's view for an entire area code. In a yet-to-be-
divulged corner of Long Lines, it was a favorite pastime to dial 809+121 (San
Juan, Puerto Rico) and 808+121 (Honolulu, Hawaii) and let two Ernestines of
the Lily Tomlin era argue about which had called which and what they were
supposed to do.  Meantime, gales of laughter could be heard around the
monitoring loudspeaker in a testroom thousands of miles from either of them!

2.) In a similar fashion, happenstance listening found an FX between two cities
that got dialed up every morning and contained a day-long dialog between two
receptionists of the same company. One was named "Rusty."  Rusty's nightly
romantic exploits in a major seaside resort city, if true, would provide years
of material for one of today's "Confessions" 900 numbers!  They were replete
with details of Rusty's specialized wardrobe and tools of her nighttime trade.
Needless to say, the day shift had a monitor speaker plugged into THAT FX
daily. (I almost swallowed my chewing gum more than once!)  After a long
period <months> of unobtrusive listening, a testboardman <whose name is yet to
be divulged> began to pop in with comments that could be heard only by Rusty
and not her audience at the other end.

Rusty would respond, leaving her private audience puzzled at who Rusty was
talking to.  That would cause the discussion to turn to suggestions of
reporting eavesdroppers on the phone.  However, no reports were ever filed when
it got around to, "But what if they ask what we were talking about?" (It would
have been hilarious, anyway, because the self-same room that was doing the
listening was the place the trouble reporting number was in ... in fact, the
self-same people!)

3.) The highest level of development of this art might be classified as an
early form of the "Talking to God" service recently purported to have emerged
in Italy.  This one was over on the 17B Board, where thousands of DDD message
trunks terminated in ports of the 4A toll switching machine.  Each evening, as
the network peaked with the 7 PM rush for cheap rates, it wasn't difficult to
find a circuit on which a couple of good old Bible-toting down south mommas
were commiserating about their physical aches and heartaches over the foibles
of their "chilluns."  When one finally asked, as they always did, for the Lord
to intervene, an obliging testboardman would plug into the four-wire transmit
toward the requester and play God on the Telephone.  Invariably, the poor dear
would literally swoon and shush the questioning other, who couldn't hear God
talking!  One can imagine the testimony of miracles next Sunday morning at the
country church!

But of course, NOBODY ever listens in on YOUR calls...why, the Company would
NEVER permit that!  Boy, I sure hope the Statute of Limitations has run out on
this!

[Moderator's Note: I still don't think it is funny. I regard it as a major
violation of trust; and I'm sure you are aware that had the employees involved
in this little prank been caught and the subscriber's involved elected to sue,
telco would have had to pay financially and the employees involved probably
would have lost their jobs.  PAT]
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ELITE WORLD NEWS QUICKNOTES

1.  After the recent massive failure in New England, their fourth since January
    1990, ATT announced a new customer service number for affected customers to
    call in case of future problems: 1-900-Call-ATT.
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2.  Corrupt & MOD are Really Fat Albert & The Junk Yard Gang!
    "Habba mamba, NebbitWibbiz bebba Fabbit Abet."

    That's right! In this exclusive interview with Weird Harald (aka The Wing)
    Phrack Inc. discovers that the true identity of Corrupt is Fat Albert.
    WH is now talking.  Why?  Because the leader of the infamous New York City
    crack gang (Corrupt) threatened to post his "info" on Internet Relay Chat
    if Harald did not step up his rag wars.
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3.  The Hacker's Dictionary explains that "RTM," apart from being the login of
    a certain Cornell student, is also common shorthand for "Read The Manual,"
    as in "Don't hassle me now, did you RTM?"

    Turns out that the original expression was RTFM, like "Look, I got 20
    klingons on the screen and no warp drive.  Go RTFM."

    Now, turns out that Morris's hack is viewed as uncool because he screwed
    up the coding so a few netfolks changed his login to RTFM.

    "Ha ha only serious."  (another expression from the Hackers's Dictionary)
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