A day for firm decisions!!!!!  Or is it?
%%
A few hours grace before the madness begins again.
%%
A gift of a flower will soon be made to you.
%%
A long-forgotten loved one will appear soon.

Buy the negatives at any price.
%%
A tall, dark stranger will have more fun than you.
%%
A visit to a fresh place will bring strange work.
%%
A visit to a strange place will bring fresh work.
%%
A vivid and creative mind characterizes you.
%%
Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy.
%%
Accent on helpful side of your nature.  Drain the moat.
%%
Advancement in position.
%%
After your lover has gone you will still have PEANUT BUTTER!
%%
Afternoon very favorable for romance.  Try a single person for a change.
%%
Alimony and bribes will engage a large share of your wealth.
%%
All the troubles you have will pass away very quickly.
%%
Among the lucky, you are the chosen one.
%%
An avocado-tone refrigerator would look good on your resume.
%%
An exotic journey in downtown Newark is in your future.
%%
Another good night not to sleep in a eucalyptus tree.
%%
Are you a turtle?
%%
Are you ever going to do the dishes?  Or will you change your major to biology?
%%
Are you making all this up as you go along?
%%
Are you sure the back door is locked?
%%
Artistic ventures highlighted.  Rob a museum.
%%
Avert misunderstanding by calm, poise, and balance.
%%
Avoid gunfire in the bathroom tonight.
%%
Avoid reality at all costs.
%%
Bank error in your favor.  Collect $200.
%%
Be careful!  Is it classified?
%%
Be careful!  UGLY strikes 9 out of 10!
%%
Be cautious in your daily affairs.
%%
Be cheerful while you are alive.
		-- Phathotep, 24th Century B.C.
%%
Be different: conform.
%%
Be free and open and breezy!  Enjoy!  Things won't get any better so
get used to it.
%%
Be security conscious -- National defense is at stake.
%%
Beauty and harmony are as necessary to you as the very breath of life.
%%
Best of all is never to have been born.  Second best is to die soon.
%%
Better hope the life-inspector doesn't come around while you have your
life in such a mess.
%%
Beware of a dark-haired man with a loud tie.
%%
Beware of a tall black man with one blond shoe.
%%
Beware of a tall blond man with one black shoe.
%%
Beware of Bigfoot!
%%
Beware of low-flying butterflies.
%%
Beware the one behind you.
%%
Blow it out your ear.
%%
Break into jail and claim police brutality.
%%
Bridge ahead.  Pay troll.
%%
Caution: breathing may be hazardous to your health.
%%
Caution: Keep out of reach of children.
%%
Celebrate Hannibal Day this year.  Take an elephant to lunch.
%%
Change your thoughts and you change your world.
%%
Cheer Up!  Things are getting worse at a slower rate.
%%
Chess tonight.
%%
Chicken Little only has to be right once.
%%
Chicken Little was right.
%%
Cold hands, no gloves.
%%
Communicate!  It can't make things any worse.
%%
Courage is your greatest present need.
%%
Day of inquiry.  You will be subpoenaed.
%%
Do not overtax your powers.
%%
Do not sleep in a eucalyptus tree tonight.
%%
Do nothing unless you must, and when you must act -- hesitate.
%%
Do something unusual today.  Pay a bill.
%%
Do what comes naturally.  Seethe and fume and throw a tantrum.
%%
Domestic happiness and faithful friends.
%%
Don't feed the bats tonight.
%%
Don't get stuck in a closet -- wear yourself out.
%%
Don't get to bragging.
%%
Don't go surfing in South Dakota for a while.
%%
Don't hate yourself in the morning -- sleep till noon.
%%
Don't kiss an elephant on the lips today.
%%
Don't let your mind wander -- it's too little to be let out alone.
%%
Don't look back, the lemmings are gaining on you.
%%
Don't look now, but the man in the moon is laughing at you.
%%
Don't look now, but there is a multi-legged creature on your shoulder.
%%
Don't plan any hasty moves.  You'll be evicted soon anyway.
%%
Don't read any sky-writing for the next two weeks.
%%
Don't read everything you believe.
%%
Don't relax!  It's only your tension that's holding you together.
%%
Don't tell any big lies today.  Small ones can be just as effective.
%%
Don't worry so loud, your roommate can't think.
%%
Don't Worry, Be Happy.
		-- Meher Baba
%%
Don't worry.  Life's too long.
		-- Vincent Sardi, Jr.
%%
Don't you feel more like you do now than you did when you came in?
%%
Don't you wish you had more energy... or less ambition?
%%
Everything that you know is wrong, but you can be straightened out.
%%
Everything will be just tickety-boo today.
%%
Excellent day for putting Slinkies on an escalator.
%%
Excellent day to have a rotten day.
%%
Excellent time to become a missing person.
%%
Executive ability is prominent in your make-up.
%%
Exercise caution in your daily affairs.
%%
Expect a letter from a friend who will ask a favor of you.
%%
Expect the worst, it's the least you can do.
%%
Fine day for friends.
So-so day for you.
%%
Fine day to work off excess energy.  Steal something heavy.
%%
Fortune: You will be attacked next Wednesday at 3:15 p.m. by six samurai
sword wielding purple fish glued to Harley-Davidson motorcycles.

Oh, and have a nice day!
		-- Bryce Nesbitt '84
%%
Future looks spotty.  You will spill soup in late evening.
%%
Generosity and perfection are your everlasting goals.
%%
Give him an evasive answer.
%%
Give thought to your reputation.  Consider changing name and moving to
a new town.
%%
Give your very best today.  Heaven knows it's little enough.
%%
Go to a movie tonight.  Darkness becomes you.
%%
Good day for a change of scene.  Repaper the bedroom wall.
%%
Good day for overcoming obstacles.  Try a steeplechase.
%%
Good day to deal with people in high places; particularly lonely stewardesses.
%%
Good day to let down old friends who need help.
%%
Good news from afar can bring you a welcome visitor.
%%
Good news.  Ten weeks from Friday will be a pretty good day.
%%
Good night to spend with family, but avoid arguments with your mate's
new lover.
%%
Green light in A.M. for new projects.  Red light in P.M. for traffic tickets.
%%
Hope that the day after you die is a nice day.
%%
If you can read this, you're too close.
%%
If you learn one useless thing every day, in a single year you'll learn
365 useless things.
%%
If you sow your wild oats, hope for a crop failure.
%%
If you stand on your head, you will get footprints in your hair.
%%
If you think last Tuesday was a drag, wait till you see what happens tomorrow!
%%
If your life was a horse, you'd have to shoot it.
%%
In the stairway of life, you'd best take the elevator.
%%
Increased knowledge will help you now.  Have mate's phone bugged.
%%
Is that really YOU that is reading this?
%%
Is this really happening?
%%
It is so very hard to be an 
on-your-own-take-care-of-yourself-because-there-is-no-one-else-to-do-it-for-you
grown-up.
%%
It may or may not be worthwhile, but it still has to be done.
%%
It was all so different before everything changed.
%%
It's a very *UN*lucky week in which to be took dead.
		-- Churchy La Femme
%%
It's all in the mind, ya know.
%%
It's lucky you're going so slowly, because you're going in the wrong direction.
%%
Just because the message may never be received does not mean it is
not worth sending.
%%
Just to have it is enough.
%%
Keep emotionally active.  Cater to your favorite neurosis.
%%
Keep it short for pithy sake.
%%
Lady Luck brings added income today.  Lady friend takes it away tonight.
%%
Learn to pause -- or nothing worthwhile can catch up to you.
%%
Let me put it this way: today is going to be a learning experience.
%%
Life is to you a dashing and bold adventure.
%%
"Life, loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it."
		-- Marvin, "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
%%
Live in a world of your own, but always welcome visitors.
%%
Living your life is a task so difficult, it has never been attempted before.
%%
Long life is in store for you.
%%
Look afar and see the end from the beginning.
%%
Love is in the offing.  Be affectionate to one who adores you.
%%
Make a wish, it might come true.
%%
Many changes of mind and mood; do not hesitate too long.
%%
Never be led astray onto the path of virtue.
%%
Never commit yourself!  Let someone else commit you.
%%
Never give an inch!
%%
Never look up when dragons fly overhead.
%%
Never reveal your best argument.
%%
Next Friday will not be your lucky day.  As a matter of fact, you don't
have a lucky day this year.
%%
Obviously the only rational solution to your problem is suicide.
%%
Of course you have a purpose -- to find a purpose.
%%
People are beginning to notice you.  Try dressing before you leave the house.
%%
Perfect day for scrubbing the floor and other exciting things.
%%
Questionable day.

Ask somebody something.
%%
Reply hazy, ask again later.
%%
Save energy: be apathetic.
%%
Ships are safe in harbor, but they were never meant to stay there.
%%
Slow day.  Practice crawling.
%%
Snow Day -- stay home.
%%
So this it it.  We're going to die.
%%
So you're back... about time...
%%
Someone is speaking well of you.
%%
Someone is speaking well of you.

How unusual!
%%
Someone whom you reject today, will reject you tomorrow.
%%
Stay away from flying saucers today.
%%
Stay away from hurricanes for a while.
%%
Stay the curse.
%%
That secret you've been guarding, isn't.
%%
The time is right to make new friends.
%%
The whole world is a tuxedo and you are a pair of brown shoes.
		-- George Gobel
%%
There is a 20% chance of tomorrow.
%%
There is a fly on your nose.
%%
There was a phone call for you.
%%
There will be big changes for you but you will be happy.
%%
Things will be bright in P.M.  A cop will shine a light in your face.
%%
Think twice before speaking, but don't say "think think click click".
%%
This life is yours.  Some of it was given to you; the rest, you made yourself.
%%
This will be a memorable month -- no matter how hard you try to forget it.
%%
Time to be aggressive.  Go after a tattooed Virgo.
%%
Today is National Existential Ennui Awareness Day.
%%
Today is the first day of the rest of the mess.
%%
Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
%%
Today is the last day of your life so far.
%%
Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
%%
Today is what happened to yesterday.
%%
Today's weirdness is tomorrow's reason why.
		-- Hunter S. Thompson
%%
Tomorrow will be cancelled due to lack of interest.
%%
Tomorrow, this will be part of the unchangeable past but fortunately,
it can still be changed today.
%%
Tomorrow, you can be anywhere.
%%
Tonight you will pay the wages of sin; Don't forget to leave a tip.
%%
Tonight's the night: Sleep in a eucalyptus tree.
%%
Troubled day for virgins over 16 who are beautiful and wealthy and live
in eucalyptus trees.
%%
Truth will out this morning.  (Which may really mess things up.)
%%
Try the Moo Shu Pork.  It is especially good today.
%%
Try to get all of your posthumous medals in advance.
%%
Try to have as good a life as you can under the circumstances.
%%
Try to relax and enjoy the crisis.
		-- Ashleigh Brilliant
%%
Try to value useful qualities in one who loves you.
%%
Tuesday After Lunch is the cosmic time of the week.
%%
Tuesday is the Wednesday of the rest of your life.
%%
What happened last night can happen again.
%%
While you recently had your problems on the run, they've regrouped and
are making another attack.
%%
Write yourself a threatening letter and pen a defiant reply.
%%
You are a bundle of energy, always on the go.
%%
You are a fluke of the universe; you have no right to be here.
%%
You are a very redundant person, that's what kind of person you are.
%%
You are always busy.
%%
You are as I am with You.
%%
You are capable of planning your future.
%%
You are confused; but this is your normal state.
%%
You are deeply attached to your friends and acquaintances.
%%
You are destined to become the commandant of the fighting men of the
department of transportation.
%%
You are dishonest, but never to the point of hurting a friend.
%%
You are fairminded, just and loving.
%%
You are farsighted, a good planner, an ardent lover, and a faithful friend.
%%
You are fighting for survival in your own sweet and gentle way.
%%
You are going to have a new love affair.
%%
You are magnetic in your bearing.
%%
You are not dead yet.  But watch for further reports.
%%
You are number 6!  Who is number one?
%%
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.
%%
You are scrupulously honest, frank, and straightforward.  Therefore you
have few friends.
%%
You are sick, twisted and perverted.  I like that in a person.
%%
You are so boring that when I see you my feet go to sleep.
%%
You are standing on my toes.
%%
You are taking yourself far too seriously.
%%
You are the only person to ever get this message.
%%
You are wise, witty, and wonderful, but you spend too much time reading
this sort of trash.
%%
You attempt things that you do not even plan because of your extreme stupidity.
%%
You can create your own opportunities this week.  Blackmail a senior executive.
%%
You can do very well in speculation where land or anything to do with dirt
is concerned.
%%
You can rent this space for only $5 a week.
%%
You could live a better life, if you had a better mind and a better body.
%%
You definitely intend to start living sometime soon.
%%
You dialed 5483.
%%
You display the wonderful traits of charm and courtesy.
%%
You don't become a failure until you're satisfied with being one.
%%
You enjoy the company of other people.
%%
You feel a whole lot more like you do now than you did when you used to.
%%
You fill a much-needed gap.
%%
You get along very well with everyone except animals and people.
%%
You had some happiness once, but your parents moved away, and you had to
leave it behind.
%%
You have a deep appreciation of the arts and music.
%%
You have a deep interest in all that is artistic.
%%
You have a reputation for being thoroughly reliable and trustworthy. 
A pity that it's totally undeserved.
%%
You have a strong appeal for members of the opposite sex.
%%
You have a strong appeal for members of your own sex.
%%
You have a strong desire for a home and your family interests come first.
%%
You have a truly strong individuality.
%%
You have a will that can be influenced by all with whom you come in contact.
%%
You have an ability to sense and know higher truth.
%%
You have an ambitious nature and may make a name for yourself.
%%
You have an unusual equipment for success.  Be sure to use it properly.
%%
You have an unusual magnetic personality.  Don't walk too close to
metal objects which are not fastened down.
%%
You have an unusual understanding of the problems of human relationships.
%%
You have been selected for a secret mission.
%%
You have Egyptian flu: you're going to be a mummy.
%%
You have had a long-term stimulation relative to business.
%%
You have literary talent that you should take pains to develop.
%%
You have many friends and very few living enemies.
%%
You have no real enemies.
%%
You have taken yourself too seriously.
%%
You have the body of a 19 year old.  Please return it before it gets wrinkled.
%%
You have the capacity to learn from mistakes.  You'll learn a lot today.
%%
You have the power to influence all with whom you come in contact.
%%
You learn to write as if to someone else because NEXT YEAR YOU WILL BE
"SOMEONE ELSE."
%%
You like to form new friendships and make new acquaintances.
%%
You look like a million dollars.  All green and wrinkled.
%%
You look tired.
%%
You love peace.
%%
You love your home and want it to be beautiful.
%%
You may be gone tomorrow, but that doesn't mean that you weren't here today.
%%
You may be infinitely smaller than some things, but you're infinitely 
larger than others.
%%
You may be recognized soon.  Hide.
%%
You may get an opportunity for advancement today.  Watch it!
%%
You may worry about your hair-do today, but tomorrow much peanut butter will
be sold.
%%
You need more time; and you probably always will.
%%
You need no longer worry about the future.  This time tomorrow you'll be dead.
%%
You never hesitate to tackle the most difficult problems.
%%
You never know how many friends you have until you rent a house on the beach.
%%
You now have Asian Flu.
%%
You own a dog, but you can only feed a cat.
%%
You plan things that you do not even attempt because of your extreme caution.
%%
You possess a mind not merely twisted, but actually sprained.
%%
You prefer the company of the opposite sex, but are well liked by your own.
%%
You recoil from the crude; you tend naturally toward the exquisite.
%%
You seek to shield those you love and you like the role of the provider.
%%
You shall be rewarded for a dastardly deed.
%%
You should emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far.  Especially
if they are dead.
%%
You should go home.
%%
You single-handedly fought your way into this hopeless mess.
%%
You teach best what you most need to learn.
%%
You too can wear a nose mitten.
%%
You two ought to be more careful--your love could drag on for years and years.
%%
You will always get the greatest recognition for the job you least like.
%%
You will always have good luck in your personal affairs.
%%
You will attract cultured and artistic people to your home.
%%
You will be a winner today.  Pick a fight with a four-year-old.
%%
You will be advanced socially, without any special effort on your part.
%%
You will be aided greatly by a person whom you thought to be unimportant.
%%
You will be attacked by a beast who has the body of a wolf, the tail of
a lion, and the face of Donald Duck.
%%
You will be audited by the Internal Revenue Service.
%%
You will be awarded a medal for disregarding safety in saving someone.
%%
You will be awarded some great honor.
%%
You will be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize... posthumously.
%%
You will be called upon to help a friend in trouble.
%%
You will be dead within a year.
%%
You will be divorced within a year.
%%
You will be given a post of trust and responsibility.
%%
You will be held hostage by a radical group.
%%
You will be honored for contributing your time and skill to a worthy cause.
%%
You will be imprisoned for contributing your time and skill to a bank robbery.
%%
You will be married within a year, and divorced within two.
%%
You will be married within a year.
%%
You will be misunderstood by everyone.
%%
You will be recognized and honored as a community leader.
%%
You will be reincarnated as a toad; and you will be much happier.
%%
You will be run over by a beer truck.
%%
You will be run over by a bus.
%%
You will be singled out for promotion in your work.
%%
You will be successful in love.
%%
You will be surprised by a loud noise.
%%
You will be surrounded by luxury.
%%
You will be the last person to buy a Chrysler.
%%
You will be the victim of a bizarre joke.
%%
You will be Told about it Tomorrow.  Go Home and Prepare Thyself.
%%
You will be traveling and coming into a fortune.
%%
You will be winged by an anti-aircraft battery.
%%
You will become rich and famous unless you don't.
%%
You will contract a rare disease.
%%
You will engage in a profitable business activity.
%%
You will experience a strong urge to do good; but it will pass.
%%
You will feel hungry again in another hour.
%%
You will forget that you ever knew me.
%%
You will gain money by a fattening action.
%%
You will gain money by a speculation or lottery.
%%
You will gain money by an illegal action.
%%
You will gain money by an immoral action.
%%
You will get what you deserve.
%%
You will give someone a piece of your mind, which you can ill afford.
%%
You will have a long and boring life.
%%
You will have a long and unpleasant discussion with your supervisor.
%%
You will have domestic happiness and faithful friends.
%%
You will have good luck and overcome many hardships.
%%
You will have long and healthy life.
%%
You will hear good news from one you thought unfriendly to you.
%%
You will inherit millions of dollars.
%%
You will inherit some money or a small piece of land.
%%
You will live a long, healthy, happy life and make bags of money.
%%
You will live to see your grandchildren.
%%
You will lose your present job and have to become a door to door mayonnaise
salesman.
%%
You will meet an important person who will help you advance professionally.
%%
You will never know hunger.
%%
You will not be elected to public office this year.
%%
You will obey or molten silver will be poured into your ears.
%%
You will outgrow your usefulness.
%%
You will overcome the attacks of jealous associates.
%%
You will pass away very quickly.
%%
You will pay for your sins.  If you have already paid, please disregard
this message.
%%
You will pioneer the first Martian colony.
%%
You will probably marry after a very brief courtship.
%%
You will reach the highest possible point in your business or profession.
%%
You will receive a legacy which will place you above want.
%%
You will remember something that you should not have forgotten.
%%
You will soon forget this.
%%
You will soon meet a person who will play an important role in your life.
%%
You will step on the night soil of many countries.
%%
You will stop at nothing to reach your objective, but only because your
brakes are defective.
%%
You will triumph over your enemy.
%%
You will visit the Dung Pits of Glive soon.
%%
You will win success in whatever calling you adopt.
%%
You will wish you hadn't.
%%
You work very hard.  Don't try to think as well.
%%
You worry too much about your job.  Stop it.  You are not paid enough to worry.
%%
You would if you could but you can't so you won't.
%%
You'd like to do it instantaneously, but that's too slow.
%%
You'll be called to a post requiring ability in handling groups of people.
%%
You'll be sorry...
%%
You'll feel devilish tonight.  Toss dynamite caps under a flamenco dancer's
heel.
%%
You'll feel much better once you've given up hope.
%%
You'll never be the man your mother was!
%%
You'll never see all the places, or read all the books, but fortunately,
they're not all recommended.
%%
You'll wish that you had done some of the hard things when they were easier
to do.
%%
You're a card which will have to be dealt with.
%%
You're almost as happy as you think you are.
%%
You're at the end of the road again.
%%
You're being followed.  Cut out the hanky-panky for a few days.
%%
You're currently going through a difficult transition period called "Life."
%%
You're definitely on their list.  The question to ask next is what list it is.
%%
You're growing out of some of your problems, but there are others that
you're growing into.
%%
You're not my type.  For that matter, you're not even my species!!!
%%
You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny.
%%
You're working under a slight handicap.  You happen to be human.
%%
You've been leading a dog's life.  Stay off the furniture.
%%
Your aim is high and to the right.
%%
Your aims are high, and you are capable of much.
%%
Your analyst has you mixed up with another patient.  Don't believe a
thing he tells you.
%%
Your best consolation is the hope that the things you failed to get weren't
really worth having.
%%
Your boss climbed the corporate ladder, wrong by wrong.
%%
Your boss is a few sandwiches short of a picnic.
%%
Your boyfriend takes chocolate from strangers.
%%
Your business will assume vast proportions.
%%
Your business will go through a period of considerable expansion.
%%
Your depth of comprehension may tend to make you lax in worldly ways.
%%
Your domestic life may be harmonious.
%%
Your fly might be open (but don't check it just now).
%%
Your goose is cooked.
(Your current chick is burned up too!)
%%
Your heart is pure, and your mind clear, and your soul devout.
%%
Your ignorance cramps my conversation.
%%
Your life would be very empty if you had nothing to regret.
%%
Your love life will be happy and harmonious.
%%
Your love life will be... interesting.
%%
Your lover will never wish to leave you.
%%
Your lucky color has faded.
%%
Your lucky number has been disconnected.
%%
Your lucky number is 3552664958674928.  Watch for it everywhere.
%%
Your mode of life will be changed for the better because of good news soon.
%%
Your mode of life will be changed for the better because of new developments.
%%
Your motives for doing whatever good deed you may have in mind will be
misinterpreted by somebody.
%%
Your nature demands love and your happiness depends on it.
%%
Your object is to save the world, while still leading a pleasant life.
%%
Your own qualities will help prevent your advancement in the world.
%%
Your present plans will be successful.
%%
Your reasoning is excellent -- it's only your basic assumptions that are wrong.
%%
Your reasoning powers are good, and you are a fairly good planner.
%%
Your sister swims out to meet troop ships.
%%
Your society will be sought by people of taste and refinement.
%%
Your step will soil many countries.
%%
Your supervisor is thinking about you.
%%
Your talents will be recognized and suitably rewarded.
%%
Your temporary financial embarrassment will be relieved in a surprising manner.
%%
Your true value depends entirely on what you are compared with.
%%
